more baby stuff!!
oh, life with a new baby is so lovely. i've said it before and i'll say it again: i feel like this is my second chance at newborn motherhood. i can't get over how much more positive this experience has been. what a difference it makes to a) know what you're doing...like how to wear a baby properly, how to breastfeed, how to change a diaper, how to bathe baby, how to soothe baby, how to just relax and be a mum without worrying about everything you're missing in the outside world; b) to have extra hands...mostly for the toddler but for baby as well; c) to not have a colicky baby for 3 months d) to have a baby that will actually just hang out and NOT scream non-stop for hours e) to have a baby that will allow you to just sit while she sleeps rather than insist that you constantly bounce on an exercise ball f) to not have had a 52 hour labour that resulted in a long recovery time...with this one, i laboured for 1.5 hours and pushed 5 times...yes!! and g) to have an extra friend with a baby, one whose house i can just stop over at and one who will just come over, no fuss, no advanced planning, whether we're in PJ's, bawling our eyes out, happy, pissed-off, un-showered, whatever...just be. and who also happens to be in the midst of a major house reno while i'm building a house (and also living with her parents too, no less!!) so knows EXACTLY what i'm going through. thanks J for being there for me, you have no idea how you have made my experience as a mum so much richer.
the above photos are just more baby projects that i haven't had a chance to post yet. baby is wearing them all in this late march winter. can't wait for the snow to be gone...it's FINALLY melting. i'm actually getting time to knit these days too, mostly because i can knit while breastfeeding and in those glorious minutes immediately following when she pops off the boob and is in a state of milk bliss, just hanging out on my chest. i live for those moments.
yes, i'm becoming one of those mums, who is just basking in the experience of mumhood. i always thought those mums were crazy or not being totally forthcoming about their experience with motherhood...how can they be so happy? so calm?? the truth is that they just didn't have colicky babies.
and i mean no harm to my first born whom i love dearly and with whom i have a wonderful relationship. he just had a tough first hand at life when he was stuck in my birth canal for hours and hours and hours. he just had stuff to sort out, like all of us do at some point in our lives. i love him dearly and he knows it. and i loved him dearly when he was a baby too, but it wasn't always easy and i was super depressed and anxious as a result of my inability to make him feel better (not being able to calm your baby/listening to baby screams for LITERALLY hours on end really takes its toll on your parenthood self-esteem after a while) AND inability to sleep. ever. however, in those early days, he did teach me about patience and sticking it out...and he taught me about unconditional love and having faith that everything does work out and truly does come out in the wash if you just give it some time.
ok enough. i'm going to sleep.