the best loaf of bread ever

I've been baking sourdough for a while now, regularly feeding this lovely culture of a bacteria laden flour-water mixture for almost a year. Over the course of a year, I've been learning more and more about the finicky nature of this little being...how much and how often to feed it, the ratio of flour to water when preparing the dough, how to properly knead, the correct temperature to make the creature happy as it ferments all day, and the length of time to get it right without the end result being too sour, not sour enough, risen enough etc. You'd be amazed how much goes into the ancient art of sourdough bread. And I'm glad to say that I had achieved the point of effectively make a beautiful loaf of whole-wheat sourdough just about every time. 

But I was getting bored. Until my friend showed me the book Tartine Bread and my whole outlook on sourdough has changed forever. Dramatic, yes I know. Amazing. Basically you use an immature sourdough starter (one that doesn't smell sour but rather, fruity) and you use way more water than in conventional recipes. What you get is a a very moist loaf with lots and lots of big air pockets, is super chewy on the inside and crispy on the outside. I also cook the bread in a dutch oven now to cook with steam...the results are as close to a professional bakery as I have ever reached. I'm so excited! Here's some photos of my first attempt with the new method. I know you're drooling. This recipe is the "country white", which uses mostly white flour (which has been digested by the sourdough, making it more nutritious than regular white bread) but also has some whole wheat flour added.

headband!

Ugh, I'm so tired of being sick. It's going on two weeks and it's getting to be a bit ridiculous. What started out as a cold led to a laryngitis-type thing and is now a dry hacking caugh! grr. Anyway, enough about that. Over these last few weeks of survival, I've been reverting to headbands to take care of hair that I have no time for so I thought I'd share! The first one I sewed a couple of weeks ago out of a chocolate brown jersey knit fabric and is awesome for summer. Sometimes I just don't have time to deal with bangs so that's where this stretchy piece of fabric folded over a few times comes in handy. 

The second two with the lace I finished knitting several weeks ago but haven't had the opportunity to show off yet. I love them. Here's a link to the pattern. I initially knit one for my girlfriend and I liked it so much that I knit one for me. The aran weight yarn makes it a bit heavy for hot summer days (which is where the stretchy headband comes in)but works great on cold days any time of year.

There's nothing like a head band for covering up bad 3-day-unwashed hair, for growing out hair, for covering up bangs you don't feel like dealing with or adding some interest to an otherwise routine day. I plan on making more once everyone is healthy and sleeping again. 

save a little chocolate for me

Mother's day has long come and gone and I've been wanting to share the following recipes ever since the big day but have been completely unable to due to sick children, sick me, work, etc. Life has been crazy. I actually went insane last week, had a temper tantrum and took off up north for a few days to a tiny little town that is most underrated. My mother-in-law lives there part-time and she shared the parental role with us, which allowed me to get some much needed rest. A lovely retreat when the pressures of every day life boil over. And when you're a sick mumma with sick kids who just don't stop!


Anyway, for mother's day, I wanted to do something home-made for my mum (the person who has everything). After spending some time on pinterest looking for ideas, I decided on chocolates and home-made candles. The chocolates were amazing! 


The candles turned out ok but were a bit finicky because the wax kept drying unevenly, creating huge craters which required me to re-melt and refill a couple of times with more wax. No big deal, just a bit more work than I'd planned and an end result that was less than perfect. But functional. I bought 2 little tea-cups second hand and bought candles from the dollar store that I melted down in a double-boiler. Voila, candles. Here's the link.

Oh my goodness, the chocolates...who knew that chocolate making was so easy and so delicious! The DIY versions were hands-down better than their commercial counterparts. Here's my favourite, the home-made version of Pep's or York Peppermint Patties:

Then there were my son's favourite, the Chocolate Peanut butter Turtles

And finally, home made Almond Joys...so good.

I made extras of all of them, then put them in the freezer. The intent was to always have a treat at arm's reach for visitors. But they haven't lasted long as we have been devouring them. Especially in the afternoon when one babe is asleep, the other is outside amusing himself with his dump trucks, and I find myself with a rare few minutes alone...nothing beats a chocolate and a coffee or tea by myself. Guess I have to make some more...

winter sweater

i'm a bit late posting a photo of this project which i finished about 6 weeks ago. it took me the whole winter to knit as i could only work on it in short spurts. i've done some colour-work knitting in the past but this is by far the most complicated i've done thus far. getting the tension consistent took a bit of deliberation at first but afterward i didn't even have to think about it. the pattern was from the Debbie Bliss Fall/Winter 2011 magazine, a publication which i look forward to twice a year! my only complaint is the small collar which is hidden under my scarf...the small collar looks a bit odd with the bulky set-in-sleeve design. but ah well, i love the nordic design!

sewing!

for the first time in about 15 years, i sewed myself an article of clothing! i used to sew all the time in highschool, but not so much lately. life got in the way. but i had in mind the type of top i wanted but couldn't really find it, so i just made it myself. i found a pattern and voila! here it is! i love a dress/top in the summer. i hate how most of the ones i buy have straps that are too long and always fall down. i have no patience for the ones with hooks/eyes that dig into my skin and hurt. so i made sure to make it functional, comfortable and cute. i loved the end result so much, i went out and bought some more fabric yesterday to make another one!

the fabric for the one shown below is a simple eyelet cotton that cost about 7 dollars on sale, plus a zipper ($1.50), elastic ($1.50) and thread (already had it). the hooks and eyes cost next to nothing. so all in all, this shirt cost about 10 bucks, way cheaper than in the store. i had to sew it in about 20 stages because having 2 children isn't conducive to sewing. but it wouldn't have taken more than a couple afternoons if i could have concentrated on sewing alone. so it was totally worth it! i figure that the second time around will go much more quickly because i've got the rhythm down. the pattern is SIMPLICITY 4127.

so my son has been sick...feverish, sore throat and lethargy. so i'm letting him watch tv. ALL DAY. anyone who knows me knows how much i limit his TV viewing. i have these crazy ideas that if he watches too much TV his creativity will be totally zapped and he'll become this raging zombie who can't think for himself. crazy, right? i realize it's not all bad. but still have the anxiety. so because he's sick, i'm letting him watch all day to his heart's content and maybe he'll get the obsessive urge to watch TV out of his system? maybe? thank goodness for youtube. they've got everything on there! he's really into puff the magic dragon, one of my favourite childhood programs. 

moment-to-moment happiness.

my baby turned one the other day. sigh...

what a year it has been...what a ride, an adventure...what a lesson and a privilege. my partner watched the kids for a couple hours on my daughter's birthday so that i could have time to reflect, for which i'm so grateful. being an introvert, i NEED time alone to reflect on major changes, otherwise i become this walking ball of emotion at risk of erupting at a moment's notice. 

having two kids is the ultimate challenge. i'd say it's right up there with the learning curve a new mother experiences when she has her first but in a different way. you learn to have super-human stamina. there is virtually no rest with two young children, no sleep, almost no naps and no sleeping in. there is virtually no time to yourself (if you do things like baby-wear and co-sleep especially). the house is chaotic. you're constantly putting out fires. there is almost no quiet time. almost no time with your partner. no time to respond to emails in any significant way, or talk on the phone for long. because at any given time of the day, SOMEONE IS UP, and chances are, they're dying for some quality alone with you. 

two kids need help dressing, two kids in car seats, two kids in winter gear, two kids who are (potentially) in diapers, two kids who need stories and songs at bed-time, two kids who also need nap routines, two kids to feed, two kid after whom to clean up, two kids' laundry, two kids fighting over the same toy, two kids who are sick at the same time. a few weeks ago, my husband and two children all had a stomach bug at basically the same time. this situation is particularly challenging because no one will come too close to help you because no one wants to get your bug. so you fend for yourself because you have no choice. you clean up two kids puke some time between when you're puking and your partner is puking. it is INTENSE.

however, it's also phenomenally rewarding, in ways i cannot really describe because i lack the skills to do so. you become this amazing team...you, your partner, your oldest and your baby. you all have to bind together, give yourself up temporarily for the good of the unit. which is a tough lesson for the older child, but they learn...and it's beautiful and indescribably touching to watch your older child transform into an older sibling and learn this important spiritual lesson. that you are not the centre of the universe. someone else needs your parents just as much as you do. it's a tough lesson for the parents too who had likely became accustomed to quiet time when their only child was resting. with two kids, you hit the ground running and don't stop until your head hits the pillow. and then 2 hours later, your baby wakes up and needs to nurse. a few hours later, your older child has a nightmare. 

but we are a unit. and slowly becoming a well-oiled machine. as a year has approached, it's finally gotten easier. once my oldest consistently pooed on the potty, got himself dressed (even if it's all backward, at least he's doing it on his own), can help get the breakfast table ready, help put away dishes, grab me the wrap when i leave it upstairs, fetch the baby's boots, put on his own boots...and when the baby started making fewer wet diapers, started feeding herself solid foods, started to play independently with toys for a few minutes so that i could load the dishwasher...all this happened around the same time and life got less overwhelming. i no longer needed to be in two places at the same time as often. i started to have less melt-downs and started to smile more. 

my baby is one and it's been a wonderful year. challenging but rewarding. it's like anything in life...the stuff that's worth it requires the most time, effort, and above all, personal growth and the striving to overcome the self. research shows that on a moment to moment basis, parents of young children are less happy than parents with older children or people without children. but i think that research is failing to present the full picture of any spiritual endeavor which IS NOT about constant moment-to-moment happiness, but about growth, development of character, controlling emotional impulses, keeping focused on something bigger than yourself, shedding of the ego and most importantly, LOVE. and love is hard work...ask any couple married who has been together for decades and decades. they haven't always been HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, but wouldn't trade their love for anything. i will never regret the many sleepless nights where i rocked my baby for hours (i still do this). i'll never regret every single night i've slept with my baby beside me. i'll never regret the countless hours i've spent reading the same books and singing the same songs to my oldest. or the countless hours i've held my baby, even when my back begins to break. i don't even regret our family puke fest because it was a challenge we all overcame together.

forget moment-to-moment happiness. i'll take life and love any day, along with its challenges. try my best to live life on life's terms, not my own terms. to my two babies, and to my love, thank you for this stellar year and i look forward to all of our future adventures. happy birthday baby girl. I SURVIVED A YEAR WITH TWO KIDS!!!!! :D

mitts

i've been SOOOO behind in documenting my knitting projects in any way....i knit these mitts in december out of necessity for my daughter who desperately needed mitts. they're great little thumbless things which took no time at all to whip up. they're so much like other simple mitts that i didn't bother writing them out, but they're simple garter stitch knit back and forth. i casted on 20 and after an inch or two, increased to 25 for a few rows, then decreased evenly 5 times, and every other row thereafter. this was all done with worsted weight yarn and worked out perfectly for her dainty little hands. i finished off with an i-cord string to keep them together (it's mid february and  haven't lost them yet!). 

i promptly knit another pair of stripey ones for her gorgeous little cousin and gave them to her for christmas.